So my Delegate Survival Kit has finally arrived. Sadly, its contents are disappointingly mundane: how to get from the airport to the conference, how to forage in and around Hobart (much mention of food, but not a single mention of coffee – I am deeply suspicious about the implications of this omission…). One provision did attract my attention, though:
Lost?
If you’re legitimately lost or late we’ll find you. A “lost soul’s” rescue mobile number will be included in the Conference Booklet. Midnight or “Wee-Small-Hours” revellers excepted.
“Legitimately” lost? As opposed to all you bludgers out there feigning lostness when you’re really just too cheap to pay for a cab? (And, evidently, as opposed to those who are simply too blindingly pissed to find a cab – although, in that case, I suspect the use of the “rescue mobile number” might also prove a bit of a challenge…)
I note a certain tension in the document between this apparent lack of sympathy for late night revellers, and the all caps promise that, even though the conference dinner will end at 9:30, “THERE ARE PLENTY OF PLACES TO KICK-ON LATER!” Perhaps by that point, one is not supposed to care if one ends up lost…
Maybe they’re just trying to separate the wheat from the chaff, as the truly revelrous will simply sleep wherever they end up passing out…
Evidently, the non-truly-revelrous will also simply sleep wherever they end up passing out, as no one will come pick them up – this seems at best, therefore, an inefficient sorting tool… ;-P
Maybe it’s like a boot camp for proper revelry-ing?